National Treasure?

National Treasure is a movie about Nic Cage dedicating his life to finding a treasure that may or may not exist. IMDb’s synopsis is “Benjamin Franklin Gates descends from a family of treasure-seekers who've all hunted for the same thing: a war chest hidden by the Founding Fathers after the Revolutionary War. Ben's close to discovering its whereabouts, as is his competition, but the FBI is also hip to the hunt.” 

 

If you ever had a social studies class in the past 12 years, you’ve probably seen it. Before we get into how we wanted it to end, we first have to establish whether or not this is a good movie. Aaaaaaaaand scene.

Levi: Well I for one really enjoyed it, I remember watching this growing up and thought it was the coolest thing ever. The film actually opened me up to the world of Nic Cage. And history. But mostly Nic.

It’s a fun, not taking itself too serious action adventure. Of course a lot of the history is made up, but a great deal of it is true, and they don’t try to blur the line between the two. I actually did want to learn more about the Founding Fathers and Revolutionary era America after seeing this. And it also brings in this modern day- Indiana Jones treasure hunt with interesting clues and---

James: CLUEEEEEEES!

Levi: -- Yeah we’ll get to that. Anyway, it has all these elements of a old treasure quest but also a 2000s spy and heist movie. Pretty good acting across the board, decently filmed and produced, with a lot of actual stunts instead of huge amount of CGI which was very common at the time. I will say it’s not the greatest Cage performance, but it’s not like he slept through it. So overall an enjoyable film.

James: When talking about this movie, you can’t let nostalgia cloud your judgement. Yes, we all remember watching it during US History class and pointing out the references, but to me, it tries too hard to be smart. An obvious example, all the main characters’ names are founding father or Revolutionary references. That’s like if all the main characters in Oceans 11 were named Hearts, Diamond, MGM Grand, Casino, or Moneybags. There’s being subtly clever and then there is being belligerently clever, and National Treasure just is a little too in your face. When judging a Cager, you have to look at the supporting cast. This was right before the Cage-Drop (when his career fell off for most people) so they were able to get three quality actors around him. Sean Bean (who somehow doesn't die for once), Jon Voight (CLUES), and Bridget Von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger). Bean plays a fairly convincing, albeit gullible, villain who wants to solve the puzzle by illegal means. Jon Voight is what he always is, a washed up father who tries to stifle his son’s passion (see Sky, October). Von Hammersmark goes from being offended that Cage stole the Declaration of Independence to being turned onto Cage for some questionable reason. Real quick, here’s the five best scene stealers besides Cage from this movie: I say 5. Phil (a henchman with a name) 4. The kid who helps them crack the code, because he made bank off of it, 3. Hammersmark even though she didn’t really do that much. 2. Voight. 1. CLUUUUUUUUUUES.

Levi: Objection! Voight and CLUES are the same thing!

James: Yet they need each other. Without CLUES Voight wouldn’t have had any lines, and without Voight we would never have heard the downside to following CLUES. For those wondering what we mean, watch the movie, or even fast forward to every scene Voight is in, and drink for when he says CLUES. You will have a good night.

Levi: Or make a drinking game of it. Anyway, everyone does kind of have their shtick, Riley is the techno wiz-

James: Riley was miscast. Shia LaBeouf would have been perfect.

Levi: Oh dear god! Well, he would have been a bankable star at that time, maybe a little young.

James: Riley is just too early 2000’s smart ass for me. He really doesn’t do a great job at anything. He fails when Cage is stealing Declaration, he pays a kid to crack a code, and he gets reminded every scene that he isn’t as smart as he thinks he is.

Levi: You want to talk about nostalgia (And it isn’t clouding my judgement!!), the technology in this movie is a fun trip, with the shocking technique of setting security cameras on loops and tracking cell phones through GPS, simpler times.

James: Another thing that confuses me, everyone treats each other like crap. From the outset, Cage puts down every idea Bean comes up with. I could see why Bean doesn’t want to work with him (although Bean has a history of not wanting to work as a team)...

Levi: How do all our discussions come back to Lord of the Rings?

James: Because LOTR is the GOAT. Anyway, Riley and Cage give each other shit the whole movie about their intelligence, and Hammersmark is very cold to Cage at the beginning. The FBI director keeps threatening that someone has to go to jail, which seems very black and white to me. A crime happened, but instead of figuring it out, let’s just put someone in jail to make it look alright.

Levi:I mean Cage did break the law, but yeah the fact that only a certain person should go to jail is ludicrous.

James: No,  this is Ludacris:

 

Levi: Multiple people did end up in prison. But Phil was just doing what he was told man! He didn’t ask for this!

James: Fun fact, the actor who plays Phil, Stephen Pope, is actually a stunt actor. He has done stunts for movies like The Departed, Wolf of Wall Street, and Zombieland. I like how he got an actual part in this. Anyway, back to the point, I just think it tries too hard to be clever, and it slams history in your face to cover up the holes in the movie. You like it because it brings history to mainstream entertainment, which is cool, but not enough for me. So, now we have to decide what we would have changed in the plot.

So, SPOILER (Do you have to say spoiler for a 13 year old movie?) Voight (CLUES) fools Bean at the end by telling him the treasure is in Boston. Why Bean would believe someone who has been out of the game for 20 plus years I don’t understand. Here’s what I would have done as Bean, taken Cage and Voight with me. Without them, that group is just a bunch of sheep with no wolf to get them going. Riley would have just hit on Hammersmark and she wouldn’t have had Marcel nor Lt. Aldo Rain to save her. Thus, they would have got to Boston, found out Voight was lying, probably leading to killing him off. Cage would have been kept alive to find the actual treasure. He would have escaped, leading to an epic fight scene with Bean where Bean dies and Cage goes to save the possibly already dead duo he left behind. They never find the treasure, but they do find friendship, inside of a jail.

Levi: See, this decision shouldn’t have come up in the first place. First of all ‘One if by land, two if by sea,’ isn’t a totally obscure historical fact. That is another thing I didn’t like, either you’re super history man Benjamin Gates, or you totally oblivious to all historical fact.

Anyway, even if Bean or Phil weren’t familiar with the event, Bean contradicts himself by thinking they need to travel ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK TO BOSTON, INSTEAD OF LOOKING AROUND THE IMPRESSIVELY INTRICATE HOLE FOUR STORIES INTO THE GROUND. He said himself while they were in the church that it would be weird if the map brought them to the church and then took them somewhere else!!! And then they travel down this huge marvel of architecture and after for searching for TWO MINUTES, he thinks Boston is the answer. Why not call Voight (CLUE!) on his bluff and make them look for the door. If they refuse start wasting the non-history privy cast members: aka Riley. Boom, there might be a struggle, but you have pretty good odds, because even if our heroes overpowered you, you still have a crew waiting upstairs ready to kill if you don’t return with the group. Bean gets the treasure and probably kills the rest of the cast. All because he didn’t want to dust the walls a little bit.

James: I am just picturing either of our ideas happening in a Disney movie. Either the main character and his friends go to jail after his dad is killed in front of him OR the witty friend is executed, the villain gets the treasure, and the main character dies. Not sure if they would run with it, but it does make a little more sense. Anyway, that does it for National Treasure. Any last thoughts?

Levi: Like I said before, a fun action flick, I don’t think it’s trying to be in your face, just trying to sprinkle in historical references and nods into a modern day treasure hunt.

James: Agree to disagree. I say it’s not good and you say it is. That’s a lesson: nostalgia never dies. Well, that does it for this “treasure”, but we will be back. Let us know if you want us to discuss a movie (thanks to Ragin Cajun for suggesting this one), it does not have to be a Nic Cage movie. We take (arguably) bad movies and make them better.